People we love die...it is no fun, ever...

Sharon Henderson is a leader in the NC homeschool movement. She hosts/moderates one of the largest homeschool email rings on the east coast. Thousands of homeschooling parents exchange ideas and information everyday. My wife has been reading and contributing to Sharon's loop for years. In the past year Sharon has lost BOTH parents in death. Yesterday, she sent out an email to all on her loop. I post it hoping that all of us can learn to care for each other in better ways, and prepare for what is ahead.



Hi, guys!

May I share a hard learned tidbit about funerals and death?

You are still reading so I'm guessing you are curious.
From my now vast experience:

* example: Jesus wept and mourned many times in His life..remember Lazarus?
John 11

* when someone is crying, don't try to talk them out of it! They may need to
cry!!

There were a few times at the cemetery when it occurred to me that I was,
for the first time in my life, leaving both of my parents behind.
And seeing Mom's fresh grave without any grass was such an insult. I know
that sounds strange, but it was so true.

I could give you all the scripture, all the doctrine, all the HOPE, all the
whatever you want....but I was overwhelmed with all the loneliness! The
tears came and didn't stop right away.

Several old friends came over to give words of comfort. They just kept
talking and talking. That was irritating!

An old friend came over and stood between me and the others. I love her!
Then Dave came over, put his arms around me, and cried with me.
Both of those acts were comfort.

If you are close to a sorrowing person, put your arms around them or
give them a hug and just be quiet or say something SHORT...."I'm sorry," "I love you," etc.

This is not the time to give a doctrinal dissertation about heaven or
anything!
Sometimes the loneliness just hits.

There are times to talk and times to be quiet.
If the grieving person isn't talking, be quiet. Take their lead.
If they are talking, don't be afraid to talk about your sweet memories.

Lovingly, as one of the old women in your life!
Sharon